maddoraptor:

edwrad:

are tectonic plates dishwasher safe?

idk but they’re perfect for a continental breakfast

76,514 notes

how-ya-derrrn:

don’t act like just because it’s gonna be october that means you’re gonna go spend late nights in the forest with orange leaves, hoodies, and a significant other when we all know you’re gonna lay on the couch and watch Halloweentown High on Disney Channel

236,007 notes
Never push a loyal person to the point where they no longer care. (via thegeorgiasoul)

(Source: onlinecounsellingcollege)

372,570 notes

sitcorn:

hey remember that law i forget exactly how it goes but its something along the lines of ‘if you murder someone you go to jail’ whatever happened to that? is that still a thing

184,223 notes
"oh my god, you’re seriously going to pay college kids $15 an hour to flip burgers? get a real job!"

scenicroutes:

a real job? you mean, like, an internship at the white house?

image

okay, well what about the national democratic party?

image

what about interning at the united nations?

image

wow damn it’s almost like our economy functions on stealing labour from hardworking young people, regardless of whether their jobs are “real” or not

12,456 notes

zerstorend:

do you ever get in those moods where you don’t know how to feel and everything kinda feels mixed up and you’re just sitting there alone in your room trying to figure out what the fuck is wrong with you

76,970 notes
  • iPhone user: I'm so excited to get the iPhone 6
  • Android user: Why do people with iPhones think they're so much better than everyone else
  • iPhone user: I just like this pho-
  • Android user: The Samsung Anus5000 had that screen *snort* like 2 years ago! *glomping noise* How are you enjoying 2012 you mindless sheeple?? *uses inhaler to suppress incoming asthma attack*

123,702 notes

r0sekanaya:

filling out a job application

“are you available for a Skype interview?”

….

image

“no.”

(Source: partybots)

298,288 notes

pubicles:

Becoming a cold hearted bitch wasn’t really what I planned to do with my life but here I am

856,840 notes